Greg: Welcome, Jack. Nice of you to drop in. How is everything?
Jack: Oh fair t' middlin', fair t' middlin', squire. Nice t' see ya.
Greg: I understand you've had some exciting times recently. I was hoping you could tell us a little bit about what's been going on.
Jack: Goin' on? What're you on about? There ain't been nothin' goin' on, squire.
Greg: Oh, really? I'm terribly sorry, but I was led to believe that you had some exciting times that led you a sudden rise in your fortunes recently. I just wanted to congratulate you and see if you could elaborate a little for the benefit of our readers.
Jack: Oh aye? Well if that's all ya want t' know, I think I can oblige. Although, I'm not sure that you're goin' t' believe it.
Greg: My, that sounds intriguing. What wouldn't we believe?
Jack: Well, I'll tell you. You see, me and me mum used t' live in this rundown old farmhouse on land what was pretty much played out, if you take my meanin'. The only thing on the place that was the least bit productive was our old cow.
She were a bonny old thing. I'm talking' 'bout the cow, mind. Mum were a little scary. Any road, one day the old bag o' bones--that's the cow, not mum--stopped givin' milk. Well, mum up an' tells me t' take her down t' the market--the cow, not her--an' sell her so's we can have a little bit o' cash t' tide us over.
Greg: Well, I suppose that's reasonable. Get rid of an asset that's goin' south and cash in on it while you can. She's not a banker by any chance is she?
Jack: Nay, though I daresay we'd a been better off if she were. So, what could I do but take ol' bossy--that's the cow--into market to sell her. Only thing is, I didn't make it into town. See, what happened was, some ol' bloke I met on the road made an offer before I even got there. He offered me--are you ready for this--he offered me a handful o' beans.
Greg: Beans? That doesn't sound like a fair trade.
Jack: Ah, but this is where things get interestin'. He says they ain't just any beans, they's magic beans. Well, what could I do? I mean, how many times does a lad get offered magic beans in a trade, I ask ya? Well, I ain't no fool. I took 'em before he had a chance t' change his mind. Handed the cow right over quick as ya please, and was off home.
