Inklings: Dialogue, Bringing Characters to Life

Things were a little busy earlier in the week, so I decided to postpone my Inklings post to today. Thanks for being understanding! In an earlier Inklings post, I talked about characters and where they come from. Once you've identified your characters and what makes them tick, you need to be able to get that across to your reader.

How do you do this? Well, you could just tell them, like this:

Butch was a bully. He and his gang loved to take little kids' lunch money.

That's okay. It does the job, but isn't very entertaining or interesting. Now, let's take that same situation and try some dialogue instead of description:

"Hey shrimp," Butch bellowed at the small boy quaking before him, "Me and the boys here are kinda hungry, but we ain't got no money. I was thinkin' maybe we could make a trade."

"Uh, what kind of a trade?" the trembling boy asked.

"Give me your money and we'll let ya keep your teeth," Butch replied, grabbing the front of the boy's shirt with both hands and lifting him off his feet.

You've got a more vivid picture of Butch now. He's mean, tough, strong and maybe not overly bright. What he says, how he says it, the actions that accompany his words, and how the other boy reacts to what he says make Butch really come alive for the reader.

Another great thing about dialogue is that it can really move your story forward. When I'm writing a

What are these people saying?

great  bit of dialogue between two or more characters, it can seem like I'm listening to their conversation happening right in front of me and I'm like a court recorder, taking it all down. This is where those magical moments sometimes occur where the characters take on a mind of their own, saying and doing things that I hadn't anticipated.

That can be a really great thing. But be careful. if things start moving too quickly your story can get off track. You still need to be in control, guiding your characters. Still, dialogue can open new possibilities that you had not imagined.

Dialogue has to be realistic. During your day, pay attention to what people are saying and how they're saying it. Write down bits and pieces of dialogue that strike you throughout the day in your journal. Soon you'll have some good dialogue to use to spark something a character might say. Good luck!

What are some of your favorite characters? How do the things they say make them unique?

My Favorite Books: The Phantom Tollbooth

This week's book is another one that wound up surprising me when I was young. I don't remember exactly how I was introduced to The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster, just that I was home from school sick when I first read it. My mom probably got it from the library to keep me from watching TV. You see, when I was a kid, if anyone was home sick, my mom would put the portable black and white TV with the rabbit ears in their room so they could watch TV in bed (if you're wondering what rabbit ears are, forget about it--you wouldn't believe it if I told you, and yes until I was about 15 all the TV's--both of them--in our house were black and white).

Anyway, perhaps one of my sisters was sick that day, too and they had the TV, but I started reading the book not really knowing what it was about. It started with a bored boy named Milo who receives a tollbooth. It comes with instructions. Milo having nothing better to do follows the instructions kind of halfheartedly, not really expecting anything.

He pedals his toy car to the tollbooth, pays the toll and pedals on through. When he does, he's

transported to another world. Hey, cool! Like Milo, I was suddenly intrigued. As you may know there's nothing I love more than a story about someone who is transported to a new world. From there, Milo is caught up in a quest to rescue the princesses Rhyme and Reason who were taken from the kingdom of Wisdom.

It was a great story, but the first time I read it I got only a fraction of the puns of the names and places in the book. As I got older, each time I read the book I recognized more and more. There was always something new to discover. That is truly the mark of a great book and the reason it's one of my favorites!

Here's a clip from Chuck Jones' movie version of The Phantom Tollbooth. Jones is best known for his Warner Brothers cartoons ad his version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. In this bit, Milo loses his way in the Doldrums, which happens to all of us from time to time:

A Writer's Week #65: Fun Week

I can't tell you what a fun week it's been for me! It all started on Monday when Jess and Stephanie at The Secret DMS of Fairday Morrow's blog reviewed the audio book version of Sharky and the Jewel.  Thank you so much for your kind words, Jessica and Stephanie! You're right, Jimm Singer did a fantastic job on the audio book and I'm glad you agree. Here's a sample:

In the middle part of the week, I came up with a fantastic idea for Eric and the rest of the Deliverers to get from one island to another. In the third book in the series, The Golden Dragon of Ang, they have to visit each of the five Dragon Islands and return to the first within two weeks. Their first trip by ship took about 3 days. I knew that sailing from island to island was not going to  get them back home on time. So I had to figure out a  different way to get them from place to place. This week, I figured it out, and it ties in with a huge plot element, so I was very pleased.

Today, Fairday's blog came through again with a brilliant interview with narrator Jimm Singer. I am so pleased that everyone is enjoying the audio book. Audiofile Magazine has put the audio version in its "review queue" which means that in the next couple of months they will be reviewing it online. I'll let you know when it appears. In the interview Jimm confirms that he will be narrating the audio book version of Order of the Crystal Lion, the second book in the Deliverers Series. I'm really looking forward to working with him again.

You may be wondering when you'll see the paperback and the e-book versions of book 2. Well, it looks now like it will be in early May. There has been so much going on that I've had to push the release date back. Don't worry, I can assure you that it will be worth the wait. I'm really excited for it to come out. As soon as I know more, I'll pass it on to you.

Meanwhile, I've been working away on book 3. The Golden Dragon of Ang is progressing well. With everything going on this week, I was only able to write about 1,400 words, but I'm 33,700 words into the story. That's 31 chapters and 146 pages. This book is growing fast! I'm hoping that there will be less of a gap between the release of books 2 and 3 than there has been between books 1 and 2. But come what may, I can guarantee that there will be more to come from Eric & Co. before all is said and done. I'll be back with another update next week!

My Favorite Books: A Bear Called Paddington

Back when I was a wee lad of about 10 or 11 (okay, you might find it hard to believe, but I was once a wee lad) I remember looking for a new book series to read. My sister, who was about nine at the time, had a bunch of books in her room. Being desperate, I wandered in and started looking through them. My expectations were low because, well, she was a girl and I knew that girls never had anything interesting to read (don't say it, I've learned otherwise since). But like I said, I was desperate.

One set of books did look kind of interesting. The back cover said it was about a bear from Darkest Peru who was found by a London family on the platform of Paddington Station. Okay, not bad, it was English. That alone was worth a closer look. I took it into my room, began reading, and was instantly hooked. The book was A Bear Called Paddington by Michael Bond.

Paddington & Mr. Gruber enjoying elevenses

I really did fall in love with the series right away. Paddington was always getting into ridiculous situations either with his adopted family the Browns, or their crusty neighbor Mr. Curry. Then he'd go tell his friend the antique dealer, Mr. Gruber as they sat down to "elevenses".

I loved these books because they sparked my imagination. It felt like I was getting a dose of English life spiced up with the antics of a mischievous Peruvian bear. The illustrations were fun, too.

Now, my eight year old daughter is starting to read them. My wife reads one chapter and Abby reads the next. She loves to read with her mom. My eleven year old son has even been seen nonchalantly hanging around with an ear cocked, listening as they read. He won't admit it, but I know. He really enjoys Paddington's adventures, just like me.

Inklings: Rewriting and Editing

Once you've finished your story and your hero has prevailed, sit back for a minute and congratulate yourself. You've accomplished something great--getting a complete story down on paper from start to finish. Now the  work starts!

A wise author once said 90% of writing is rewriting. They were right. Now that you've got a story written, you need to go back and take another look at it. You don't want to do that right away. Take a week or two and forget all about it. That way when you pick it up again you'll be able to look at it with some perspective. It will be fresh.

It's funny, but when I go back to read something I've written after letting it sit for a while, I'll catch myself saying "Wow, did I write that? It's good," in some places, and "Ugh, how could I write that?" in other places.  That happens all the time and it will happen to you. As you reread, take notes by either writing in the margin of your manuscript or adding them on your computer. You may find that a certain scene does not work, or a subplot might be a little dodgy. Be on the lookout for plot elements that aren't wrapped up or characters that drop out of sight without explanation. Once you've identified these things, go back and fix them or get rid of them if they don't move your story forward to its conclusion.

After you've done that, read it through again to see if there's anything else that needs fixing or clarifying and rewrite it. Then, keep an eye out for any typos or misspelling or punctuation errors.  You can edit this as you reread the first time, but I find that when I do that I am not paying enough attention to the plot points. If your prefer, you can proofread for spelling and punctuation before you reread and rewrite.

Finally, once you've got it as polished as you think it can be, find someone whose opinion you really trust and ask them to read it. Ask them to tell you what they think. Did everything make sense? Was the pacing good? Were all the loose ends tied up?

In many cases, it's not unusual for thee rewriting and editing to take longer than it actually took to write the first draft. But that's good, because once you've taken your story through the entire rewriting and editing process, you can be sure your story is as good as it can be.