Greg: Sorry about those birds. I can't understand it.
Pinocchio: No worries, it happens all the time. I guess it's just a life hazard.
Greg: All the same, I'm embarrassed that you had that little mishap on our doorstep. Now, I have to ask, are you the traditional Pinocchio, or the Disney version?
Pinocchio: Huh? What do you mean?
Greg: The original Pinocchio came to a bad end, the Disney Pinocchio came out okay in the end.
Pinocchio: Oh, well then I'm the Disney version. After all, I'm an animated wooden toy. Ha! Get it? Not bad for a blockhead!
Greg: Very funny. You have a future in show business.
Pinocchio: I was once on the stage, but it wasn't a very happy time for me. I spent most of my time in a cage. I've had a number of experiences in my short life, most of them unpleasant.
Greg: Care to talk about it?
Pinocchio: You sound like my conscience, Jiminy Cricket. He's big on talking things out. Sure, I can talk. I was led astray by a fox named Honest John and his cat friend, Gideon the cat. I wound up in some rundown sideshow. I begged the Blue Fairy for help, but I wound up lying to her, and my nose grew real big, so she was no help. Jiminy bailed me out of that one. Jiminy was all for going home after that, but I foolishly gave him the slip.
Greg: That doesn't sound like a very wise decision. What happened?
Pinocchio: I wound up falling in with more undesirable companions. This time, I thought I was headed to a great playland with some other kids. They carted us off to this island, and it was fun at first. We were able to do all sorts of things we weren't allowed to. Then, things got freaky. Everyone-all the kids, I mean-started turning into donkeys. That was weird, but then I started turning into one, too.
Greg: Hmmm, might be a lesson in that somewhere, don't you think?
I went out to rescue him, but I wound up getting eaten as well. It turned out to be a lucky thing, because I lit a fire in the whale's belly and he coughed us up real quick. Have you ever been regurgitated by a whale? It's gross.
But anyway, we were out of there. We managed to drift to shore, so the story has a happy ending. Now, I'm a real live flesh and blood boy, and Jiminy is a full-fledged conscience, so everything turned out okay.
Greg: I'm very pleased to hear it. One thing puzzles me, though. If you're a flesh and blood boy now, why were the woodpeckers attacking you?
Pinocchio: Oh, well I may be a flesh and blood boy, but I'm still kind of a blockhead. Woodpeckers can spot that a mile away!