Monday, October 21, 2013

Between the Lines: The Brave Little Tailor

We are privileged to have with us one of the most valiant heroes of his age-perhaps of any age. He once killed seven...Oh, but perhaps I should let him tell you all about it instead. Yes, that would be more fitting, I believe. Here he is, the Brave Little Tailor.

Greg:  Welcome sir. I introduced you as a tailor, but that's not quite true as you now have title to half the kingdom and the king's daughter as well. 

Tailor:  Yes, that's true. Although I don't like to brag, I have managed to do rather well for myself.

Greg:  And to what do you owe your fantastic success?

Tailor:  I have had to live by my wits. I've been in many a tight place and managed to scrape through on nothing more than daring and cunning.

Greg:  How so?

Tailor:  It all started when I managed to kill seven flies with one blow of my hand. It might not seem like much, but I thought that I might be able to put that experience to some use. I had a belt made that proclaimed "seven with one blow". Then I left home and went to seek my fortune.

It wasn't long before I bumped into a giant. He was one of the most fearsome creatures I had ever met. When he saw my belt, he assumed that I had killed seven men with one blow--giants are not particularly bright you understand. Anyhow, he decided to challenge me. I managed to fool him into thinking I was a match for him physically. What can I say, he was a giant so it wasn't that difficult.

Greg:  It sounds rather simple when you put it like that, although perhaps you should not have taken advantage of the poor giant.

Tailor:  Well that's easy to say, but I am small and frail and have to live on my wits. I out-thought him so sue me. Anyhow, you shouldn't get up on your high horse until you've heard the whole story. After I "bested" him, he took me to his house, but he wasn't trying to make friends. He tried to kill me, he did. Can you believe that? Never trust a giant I always say.

Greg:  Well, that was kind of nasty of him. What did you do?

Tailor:  Well, the bed was too big. I couldn't get comfortable. I decided to sleep off in a corner, and that saved my life, because the giant and his family couldn't find me. They were so scared to see me still alive the next morning that they all took off.

Far be it from me to turn down an opportunity when it presents itself. I presented myself to the king. I told him I'd bested a whole giant family and asked to serve in his royal guard. The other guards didn't take too kindly to this. They heard what I had done to the giants and they were worried I'd lose my temper and take care of them one day. So, they went to the king and told him it were either me or them.

Greg:  What did the king say?

Tailor:  He didn't want to lose his whole platoon of guards, but he wasn't too keen on getting me angry, either. He decided to send me to kill two giants who were terrorizing the kingdom. If I succeeded, he would give me half the kingdom and his daughter's hand in marriage.

Greg:  Did you kill them?

Tailor:  I didn't have to. I got them to take care of each other on their own. See, I sneaked up to where they were sleeping and I tossed some rocks at each of them. One thought the other was doing it, and the other thought the first was. Soon they were really going at each other. It was something to behold, I tell you. After they did each other in, the king gave me a couple of other small tasks and I was in. The wedding was last fall--a most charming ceremony it was.

Greg:  Well, you certainly made the most of your opportunities. Thanks for chatting with us.

Tailor:  When opportunity knocks, make the most of it I always say. Thank heavens for dumb giants, otherwise I'd still be in my little shop, hemming and stitching. 

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