Greg: Thank you for inviting us. I hear that your schedule is very busy, so I won't keep you long. What kinds of things do you do?
Mr. Toad: Oh, well, where to start? The life of an aristocrat is not all peaches and cream, certainly. I have a busy social schedule. The whole of the district looks to me to provide leadership. It's not an easy burden, but one I take on willingly as a mark of my birth.
Greg: And I'm sure the entire county is grateful for that. Still, I've heard rumors of a number of disturbing incidents. For example, there was something about a motor car...
Mr. Toad: Ah yes. A regrettable incident, that. I'll admit that things got a trifle out of hand. You see, I've always had a fascination for anything new--and expensive. I had been on an outing with two associates--Rat and Mole. We were riding cross country in a horse drawn caravan.
Suddenly, we were run off the road by a superb vehicle. It was one of those newfangled motor cars. Rat and Mole were quite put out, but I was spellbound. I had never seen such a combination of speed and power. It was then that I determined to pilot one of them as soon as could be. Riding in a caravan seemed rather dull after that.
Greg: So you went out and bought one?
Mr. Toad: Er, umm, well I'm afraid I am rather impetuous when a craze strikes. Yes, I purchased the first one. I had rather a lot of nasty accidents--totally beyond my control you understand--that wound up costing me quite a bit in repairs and fines.
Greg: Oh dear. I hope no one was hurt.
Mr. Toad: No one besides myself. I wound up in hospital several times. However, that did not stop me. I was still keen to have a go, you see. I loved the freedom of the open road--the scenery whizzing by, the cool wind on my face, the glory of being out in the open, free to travel like the wind.
My associates, and a large part of the district did not see things in quite the same light for some reason. Rat and Mole enlisted the aid to that infernal Badger to arrange what I suppose would be called an intervention these days. They locked me up in Toad Hall and would not let me out.
But the call of the road was too strong. I tricked them and escaped. I must admit that a kind of madness descended upon me at that point. I stole a motor car and careered around the district until I was apprehended by the police.
Greg: What happened then?
Mr. Toad: The magistrate sentenced me to 20 years in prison. I simply could not believe it. I mean, did you ever? I'm too rich to be thrown in jail like some common criminal.
Greg: What did you do?
Mr. Toad: Well, I escaped, naturally. What else could I do? I certainly could not stay locked up. I have quite a delicate constitution after all. After escaping, I decided to take a tour of the countryside.
Ironically, I met up with the owners of the motor car that I borrowed. They gave me a lift--I was in disguise you see. I felt the driving urge welling up, and asked them if I could have a go. They graciously let me take thee wheel, and the frenzy was upon me once more.
Of course after we had crashed into the river, they saw through my disguise, and I was forced to hop it.
Greg: What an amazing tale. I sure hope you learned something from all of this.
Mr. Toad: Oh, indeed I have. If you are going to steal a motor car, get out of town quickly, don't hang about. And never, under any circumstances, steal the same car twice.