Monday, July 16, 2012

Monday Interview Series: The Emperor

Today I'm going to be speaking with the Emperor from Hans Christian Andersen's story, The Emperor's New Clothes. This should be exciting. I always wanted to know how he could be taken in by those two dishonest tailors.

Greg:  It's a pleasure to have you here this week, Emperor. Er, um, uh, did you forget something, perhaps, my lord?

Emperor:  Hmm, what? What are you talking about, my good man? Forget something? Me? Well of course I haven't forgotten anything.

Greg:  Really? Because I think you very well may have.

Emperor:  I most certainly have not. Why do you ask?

Greg:  Well it's just that...forgive me if I seem rude, but, well. You're in your underwear.

Emperor:  Am I? Am I really? Or are you too dimwitted to see these fine clothes? The tailors said that those who are unfit for their positions, or simply stupid would not be able to see the thread that these clothes are made from. It's too bad for you, really. You seemed so nice and not stupid at all, but there you are. You can't see them, so it must be so.

In fact, these clothes are so comfortable, that it hardly seems like I'm wearing anything at all. I think I should have some underwear made to go with them.

Greg:  No!!! I mean, how can you be so sure that the tailors were telling you the truth? After all, that little boy in the crowd could see that you did not have any clothes on.

Emperor:  That boy? Hah, he's a boy, sir. Clearly he did not have the wits to see the truth. I'll admit, he did cause a stir there for a while, but a little pressure from my men at arms had him singing another tune shortly thereafter.

Greg:  But he was right! You're not wearing any clothes, I tell you!

Emperor:  You know, to be perfectly frank, I was a little worried there for a bit. Suddenly, everyone was yelling that I had nothing on. So, as I said, when that many people started saying that, I was worried. But then, suddenly, I hit upon the solution.

Greg:  Oh, what was that?

Emperor:  There are a lot of stupid people in the world.

Greg:  I think there's one more than you think.

Emperor:  What? I didn't quite catch that.

Greg:  It's not important. So, the tailors spun some thread, wove a suit of clothes, and you paraded down the main street of your capital city. The boy claimed you had no clothes. What happened next?

Emperor:  You mean after my men at arms finished with him?

Greg:  Yes, after that.

Emperor:  Oh, well I went back and ordered suits of clothes for the entire royal family. Oh yes, the Empress now has a fantastic gown that she wears all the time. My son, the Emperor-to-be, has a fine suit that is just like mine in every detail. And of course by daughter, Sissy, has a most dainty dress that she wears to every royal function.

Greg:  I see. So the tailors are still at it, eh? Still going strong?

Emperor:  Oh yes. They've set up a shop in town. Frightfully popular. I believe they've grown very rich.

Greg:  Well, so it seems everyone has made out quite well, apart from that young boy.

Emperor:  Oh no, he's seen the error of his ways. His mother purchased a beautiful tunic and pair of pantaloons from the tailors. He's frightfully pleased with them, I hear.

Greg:  So, all's well that ends well. A real fairy tale ending. Well, thank you for stopping by, Emperor, it really was most enlightening.

Emperor:  Not at all, dear boy. I had a frightfully splendid time. But, I say, is there a window open? I seem to be sitting in a draft.

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